the alchemist

favorite book ko ang the alchemist ni paulo coelho. story siya ni Santiago, isang Andalusian shepherd na naglakbay from Spain to North Africa para hanapin ang isang treasure na hindi nya alam kung ano talaga. sa kanyang paglalakbay, natutunan niya ang maraming bagay na importante sa buhay.

binabasa ko ang book kapag nalulungkot ako o di kaya nawawalan ng pag-asa. share ko ang mga favorite lines ko sa book.

• "it's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting . . ."
• "it's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them."
• ". . . that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."
• "you must always know what it is that you want."
• ". . . making a decision was only the beginning of things. when someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision."
• "people need not fear the unknown if they are capabble of achieving what they need and want."
• "because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure."

kung may pera at time kayo, i recommend na bilhin at basahin nyo siya.

kai

i had a pretty long phone conversation with my younger sister kai last night. i called up to ask about her final exam in math because she was quite worried that she'll fail. i decided to check on her and her love life as well. she just broke up with her boyfriend last monday, and i was curious how everything went. the last time we talked, i advised her to go slow on the relationship and to concentrate more on her studies. i'm glad that she took my advice because my parents are starting to worry that she might take the wrong turn. i'm happy that i get to talk to her about things like this one, and i'm even happier because she opens up to me. i just wanted to make her feel that she has an ate she can talk to. it's really nice to go through life knowing that there are people who are there for you. i hope everything works for her. i know she's a good girl.

the next big thing

i was kinda disappointed at Marat's early exit in the sony ericsson open. i was hoping pa naman that he'll make it through to the quarterfinals at least. he said in his web site that it was because of the windy conditions that's why he lost. i just hope he'll get his game back before he plays davis cup next month and before the clay season begins. good luck, marat.

aside from marat, i also root for novak djokovic, the young and talented serbian who is showing the tennis world that he's in to win. he is really good, very promising. i think he will be the next big thing in tennis if he continues to play well. i like his game--good serve, big forehand, beautiful backhand, and impressive shot selection. he seems very determined; you can sense the passion in his game. he's young and he wants to win. he was just awarded most improved player of 2006, and he's into the quarterfinals of the sony ericsson open. i hope he'll win the tournament, now that roger is out. best of luck to you, novak.

a pleasant surprise from igat

i woke up this morning to the sound of my ringing phone. it was noe on the other line. despite her suffering from dry cough, i was still able to recognize gat's voice (we call each other "gat" short for "igat"). of course, i was happy to hear from her after so long. she's finally taking a break from work in taiwan and will be spending a month-long vacation this september. we will definitely see each other here in manila before she flies to our beautiful town of Tubod.

the kumustahan lasted for about 20 minutes. she talked about her recent breakup, and i told her about mine, too. although technically, it wasn't really a breakup breakup. i'm sure you know what i mean.

she's still my good old friend noe. i really miss her. she's one of a kind. i'm so excited to see and hug her in a few months' time. i'm pretty sure we'll have a nice time catching up on the two years that we haven't seen each other. looking forward to the chika, friend.

i wanna find my way back . . .

i can't stop singing this song from the movie music and lyrics, so i decided to post it here.

Way Back Into Love
(Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett)

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on
I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

Chorus:
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

ang puso ko ngayon

"destruction isn't always as noisy as bombs exploding. sometimes the ultimate catastrophes are as quiet as a feather falling on the floor of a Zen monastery. no one else can really hear your heart breaking except you."

- from The Sound of One Heart Breaking by Karen Kunawicz

college buddies

lingaw kaayo ko gabii kay nagkita na pud mi sa akong mga college buddies: noel, gerome, ug jeff. nameet pud nako ako friend si paul. mao jud ni sila ako mga friends sa college labi na si noel nga sige nako kuyug kay classmate man pud mi.

una, nagdinner mi sa chef d' angelo sa greenbelt 1.nanglibre man si noel kay sweldo niya. as usual, late sila tanan. si noel ang pinakauna miabot sa mga late. tapos si gerome. dayon si jeff. si paul mga 9 na, pero wa man ko kabalo nga kuyug diay sya.

pagkahuman sa chef, naghike-hike mi sa greenbelt 3. mura sad mig mao. mibalhin mi sa teriyaki boy sa greenbelt 1 pag-abot ni paul. si jeff na pud nanglibre. milakaw si gerome ug una kay naa pa man sya work (sa sykes).

nabuntagan mi sa bed space sa greenbelt 3. nangchicks man sila. miapil na lang sad ko. enjoy kaayo kay nindot man gud sila kauban. puro kwartahan kuno. cge rag kwenta sa ila kwarta kung sakto pambayad. may unta mautro. pero murag ako na jud ang manlibre sa sunod . . .

puso nga naman

this was sent to me by a friend (thanks bru).

"in a normal person, the heart beats 70 times a minute; 100, 800 times a day; 40 million times a year! during a single day, a ventricle pumps about 11, 000 quarts or 265 million quarts in a lifetime.

relevance?

ang sipag ng heart pero TANGA naman!"

hay puso ko, bakit ang tanga mo?

hottest men on earth

the following are the hottest men on earth according to me:

1. marat safin - excellent sense of humor, beautiful double-handed backhand (one of the best if not the best in tennis), to-die-for accent (speaks russian, english, and spanish fluently), and unparalleled intelligence inside and outside the tennis court
2. johnny depp - 21 jumpstreet, gorgeous eyes, super acting ability, good movies, and the "it" factor (he's just plain handsome)
3. jude law - yummy pouting lips, such attractive eyes, and the honey-come-cheat-with-me looks (you'll never mind going to hell after)
4. collin farrell - bad boy personified (don't you wanna be the girl in his sex video?)
5. orlando bloom - killer smile and sexy curls
6. josh hartnett - super nice body and super sexy eyes (love the voice, too)
7. ryan philippe - lip-smacking lips and superb acting talent
8. leonardo dicaprio - i just love when he acts his heart out. you sexy you
9. dmitry tursunov - exceptional sense of humor, great curls, oozing sex appeal (what a guy!)
10. novak djokovic - young, hungry, determined, and brilliant (watch out rafa)

tikman ang langit

i finally have my own copy of tikman ang langit:an anthology on the eraserheads. i spent Saturday night and early Sunday morning reading it. it was mixed emotions. i was able to relate to the articles because i was once an eheads fan. i felt happy reminiscing the "glory" days, and sad, at the same time, knowing that those days will never happen again.

i started listening to the band when i was still in high school. i remember asking my kuya to tell his friend to buy me a cassette tape of "cutterpillow" (since it was my favorite of all the eheads album). the tape was one of my most treasured possessions when i was young. the first movie i saw when i visited manila for the first time (as a world youth day delegate) was pare ko. i just felt that i had to watch it. when i went to college at up diliman, i took all the chances i had to see them perform live. i only had two violations at the kalayaan dormitory. both were eheads concerts. i didn't mind of course even if it meant losing my chance of getting admitted to molave residence hall (where the eheads stayed while they were in up). i felt sorry for myself, of course, but kamia wasn't that bad at all.

as an eheads fan, there's always this longing that, one day, the four UP guys i once admired so much will again come together as THE eraserheads and perform their farewell concert to their millions of fans (who i'm very sure miss them so much).

my love affair with marat safin

he's one hell of a guy. he's brilliant, funny, sexy, and handsome. he is marat safin. i first heard of his name seven years ago when he successfully demolished the great Pete Sampras in the 2000 US Open. he was 20 then. very young, very promising. it was unfortunate that i wasn't able to follow his career at that time.

the next time i heard of him, i never turned my back on him. i took him seriously and officially became a marat safin fanatic. i would watch every single game i can catch, even if it means waking up 3 in the morning.

they call him bad boy of tennis because of his volatile temper. i don't mind. without his signature racket-smashing acts, talk-to-my-frustrated-self episodes, hit-my-legs-with-a-racket moves, strip-my-pants-off and kiss-the-umpire performances, tennis would never be as exciting and fun as it is now.

marat is marat. he is exactly the way he is. nothing more and nothing less. meeting him made me love and appreciate him more. i guess, i will be forever a marat fanatic. i just love this guy.

san na nga bang barkada?

i checked my friendster account yesterday after more than a month of absence. i was kinda nostalgic as a browsed through some photos of my high school barkada. i saw a picture of jackie and her husband in her account. they got married last january. a picture of victoria and noe together in taiwan (both are working there) reminded me of how much i miss my friends.

there were seven of us girls in the group: elena, gold, jackie, joan, victoria, noe, and myself. four have already gotten married. i think it was joan who took the marital plunge way ahead of everyone. victoria, gold, and recently, jackie followed suit. looking back, i can't help but laugh when i remember one very interesting conversation we had about marriage. we were asking ourselves that afternoon, at school, who among us will marry first and have kids. it was unanimous; everyone in the group thought i'd be the first. apparently, they were wrong. with the way things are going, i might be the last one to say "i do." i lost contact with joan. i haven't seen gold in years, although, i am aware that she already has a baby girl. she never fails to text me on my birthday. victoria has a baby boy, and i am one of the ninangs. elena, noe, and i text and e-mail each other once in a while.

i wish we'll get to see each other again soon. i'd love for us to sit down and talk about the good old days. sana. . .

my favorite city

i have only been to bangkok twice, but i have fallen in love with it even on my first visit. bangkok means city of angels. indeed, it is. people are so warm and friendly. the place is heavenly.

i love coming back to bangkok. i enjoy the food, the "attractions," the culture, the taxis, and almost everything about it. i have never seen so many farangs (foreigners) in my life. only in bangkok.

i miss bangkok. i'll definitely go back this year. probably in september. i wanna see and experience more. i wanna go to chiang mai, too. most of all, i'm excited to see my friends again. wish i had wings that'll take me there. . .

i'll tell you more about my bangkok trips in future posts:)

unforgettable 2006

2006 will definitely go down history as one of the most memorable years of my life, all because of one very unforgettable experience. meeting marat safin was a super dream come true for me. twice i've attempted to see him play, and fortunately, i got lucky the second time. i went to bangkok in 2005 hoping that i'd see him in the thailand open. he got injured in july, and never got to play for the rest of the year (thailand open is held every last week of september).

last year, despite coup, i packed my bag and headed to bangkok. i brought with me enough courage to fight fear of getting killed and super high hopes that i would finally meet my favorite tennis player.

i finally did. not just once, but twice. thanks to my newfound friends evelyn and her husband jimmy (who took the picture) and our thai friend kae. thanks guys. i really appreciate your kindness. indeed, dreams can come true if you really make it happen. [with me in the picture are kae (in purple) and evelyn (in white). miss you ladies.]

hello desperation

i'm getting more and more depressed as days go by. i feel like being trapped, and i can't seem to find a way out. i want to do things, but i keep on postponing plans. i want to go some place else where i can be alone and think. this place, i think, would be perfect.

congratulations to me!

finally, after so long, i was able to gather enough courage to put up my own blog. i've always dreamed of having one, but it was only after a few heartaches that i decided to do this and let loose of suppressed emotions. i hope this will not be the first and the last. i also hope that my crazy schedule will not prevent me from writing about some of my thoughts and desperations. congratulations to me.